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Sex can be fun, scary, exciting, painful, fulfilling, embarrassing, enjoyable, long, complicated…you get the point. Sex can be many things, but for some it can also be just an idea. People who do not have a sexually active life are considered to be practicing abstinence.


There are many reasons people choose to abstain from sex. Sometimes people choose abstinence for just a little while and some are abstinent their entire lives. Abstinence can mean that you're not having any sexual contact with others, or for someone else it may mean only masturbation and oral sex are enticing. No matter your decision on sex, we are here to provide support and answer your questions without judgement. Below are a few reasons abstinence might be right for you: 

Not ready. Whether it’s because you aren't old enough or are dealing with stress right now, sometimes you just aren't ready. 

Religion. Some religions dictate that people wait to have sex, or that they not have sex outside of marriage.  

Staying focused. We all know that sex can distract us. If we've got something important we are doing, be it work or family, it may be best to stay away from sex until we've got other things under control. 

Waiting for Mr. Right. Because with the right person, an orgasm can mean so much more.


Recovering from an illness. Sex is not for the faint of heart. Literally. Some people may need to abstain from sex in order to recover from a sickness, or ensure that it isn't passed to others. 

Mourning. An event or loss might be so devastating that sex may not seem right for a while. 

Not interested. Maybe you just don't want to have sex. Some people who don't experience sexual arousal identify as asexual, or along the asexual spectrum. Check out this website for more information.

When you are ready to have sex, just remember to do what’s right for you.  Make sure you are comfortable with whatever you decide to get involved with sexually. Some questions you might want to consider asking are:

  • Am I being pressured into sex?
  • Does this type of sex fit in with my beliefs?
  • Do I feel safe?
  • Are we being safe?
  • Do I know enough about sex?

Sex is what you make of it. It’s your sex life–you set the rules.