Domestic violence is something that everyone can be a victim of, no matter your age, race, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or job. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.
How you can detect domestic violence?
If you can answer “yes” to any of these questions you may be in a domestically violent situation. It’s possible that you may not be too familiar with what domestic violence really is, especially if you were raised in a family or background that commonly experienced domestic violence. You could even feel like you’re making a big deal out of nothing. We want to remind you that domestic violence is never your fault, and your safety is important to us.
How do I get out of a domestic violence situation?
LGBT people experience violence at the hands of their intimate partners in higher percentages than heterosexual people. Escaping domestic violence takes bravery, planning and support. If you feel you are in a domestically violent relationship and want to take action to remove yourself from it, know that you are not alone. There are resources available to help you through it.
Below are some links to plans that will help you get out of the DV situation you or someone you know is in:
Plan A - Get Need to Get Out Immediately
Plan B - You Have Time, and Live In Your Abusers Home
Plan C - You Have Time, and Own or Lease Your Home.
People you can turn to:
Violence Recovery Program at Fenway Community Health
For LGBT victims of domestic violence and sexual assault
National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs
Information on violence committed against and within the LGBT communities.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
For gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender batterers
If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you either have seen a sexual assault, heard about a sexual assault, or even been sexually assaulted yourself. Approximately 23 percent of LGBTQ men and 50 percent of LGBTQ women experience sexual assault from their intimate partners. First: what exactly is sexual assault? According to the U.S. Department of Justice, sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are unwanted sexual activities including forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.
Did I make this happen?
The first thing to know is that being assaulted is never your fault. Often a perpetrator will use homophobia as a weapon to threaten victims. Many people think that you can stop a sexual assault by kicking ass and taking names but when it comes to sexual assault it’s hard to do that because:
It’s always helpful to talk to someone close to you about the situation so that you don’t hold all the emotions inside. Also, never rule out the possibility of contacting the police. They are our community’s form of protection.
What should I do if I'm being sexually assaulted?
If you are ever sexually assaulted there are things you can do to help prevent a repeat assault and maybe even other person.
First, find a safe place to go to that the person responsible for the assault doesn’t know of. It does not matter whether it’s a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a stripper from the Essence, as long as you are in safe hands and away from the perpetrator of your assault so they cannot find you.
Second, it is very important that you don’t alter or remove any evidence of the sexual assault:
It is common for perpetrators to use sexual violence as a way to punish and humiliate someone for being LGBT. There’s not one master strategy you can have to protect yourself from a sexual assault. These things can happen anywhere, anytime, and many ways. So the best thing you can do is be prepared.
Ways to protect yourself on the street:
Ways to protect yourself at parties and bars:
People you can turn to:
"I did the online hotline and it was so good to get my questions answered and know recovery is possible. I was really having a hard time with what happened to me, and I am still unable to verbalize it...They helped alot. I'm starting the road to recovery”
— Anonymous Hotline User
The Network/La Red
For lesbian, bisexual and transgender women in relationships with women
Hotline/Linea de Crisis: TTY 617-227-4911
National Domestic Violence Hotline